Garden Update!!

The garden isn't doing all that well, but I've got some cool pictures to share anyway!  I think that the square foot garden boxes are too shaded.  Next year, we're going to have to look at moving them or building additional ones, maybe out in the field or in the back yard where they won't be so shaded.  Another problem, pointed out by a friend, is the lack of bees to pollinate the squash and eggplant!  Bees are a struggling species in the southeastern US, and although that might sound at first like a blessing, it's really kind of scary!  What will happen to all the bee-pollinated plants, especially vegetables and fruits that we eat, if the bees die?

Anyway, here are some pictures of our tiny cherry tomatoes!  They are delicious!

We also have cucumbers.  I love how the little tendrils curl around things.  They are so deceptively delicate!  And they grow at a crazy rate!

We also have a few shell beans drying in their pods, but I didn't take a picture of them.  And finally, just for your viewing pleasure, a very unusual bug in extreme close up!

Saying goodbye

The last three years have been really good, career-wise. I have had the opportunity to work with the most wonderful, supportive staff I could imagine.  They have been and still are like an extension of my family.  My personal connections to the job I've had run deep.  My dad and his siblings went to the school where I've been teaching.  One family of my cousins went there, and the youngest of them was in 8th grade when I started.  The building, with all its history, has become like home to me. 

The jobs I had down east were good jobs.  I learned and grew and made friends.  There are many teachers in Eastern NC about whom I care very much.  But I've never had the privilege of working with a group of people who take care of each other, who laugh, cry, celebrate, grieve, worry, pray, and wait together like the men and women I've worked with the last three years. 

Many things can be said about my school.  It has changed, it has problems, it is old, it is not what it used to be.  But a school is really only as good as the teachers in it, and I've been so lucky.

It was really hard to say goodbye.  I might not have seen everyone, and I kept my emotions very much in check, because if I had started, I might not have been able to stop.  My GMS family, you will always be just that: a family.  Thank you so much for your love, support, kind words, prayers, laughs, and general good times.  It's been an honor to work with you.  I love you all so much!

My Venus fly trap caught something!!

Yesterday when I came home, I checked out the garden, as usual.  When I got to the carnivorous section, I discovered this!  My little Venus fly trap caught a huge granddaddy long-legs!  After I endured a momentary shiver, I was enthralled.  All those legs sticking out everywhere!  :)  It's amazing that a *plant* can catch and eat something so much bigger than it.

Square Foot Gardening

We've got lots of pretty plants growing, both uncultivated and in our square foot gardens!  Hopefully later in the summer, we'll have some delicious fruits and veggies to enjoy!

Decades ago my grandparents grew grapes.  They were supported by wires strung between three huge pylons in the back yard.  Today, they grow in a wild tangle with blackberries (below) and brambles and other fun stuff.  I've spent a considerable amount of time out there, working to clear out things that aren't grapes or blackberries and generally make that area more accessible.  Maybe by next year, I'll have it so under control that we can restring the wires, retrain the grapes, and mow around them!

 I planted beans!  They are called Lazy Housewife beans, which made me smile.  They can be eaten young, as snaps, which are not my favorite, or they can be left to dry on the vines and eaten as shelled beans.  They've really taken over, which makes me think they'll live up to their name, as I have done absolutely nothing except plant them and give them a trellis to climb.

 The sweet peas are still small, but they are blooming!

 One of the tomato plants has blooms too!

 And our garden has a tiny guardian!

 I bought a pitcher plant and a Venus fly trap at the Farmer's Market yesterday!  The vendor said to leave them in their peat moss/sandy soil and leave them outside.  In other words, leave it alone!  :)

The Venus fly trap bloomed as soon as I got it home.  Can't wait to share these with my students next year.

The soybeans, which I will harvest while they're young and green and eat shelled as edamame, have tiny purple blooms!

Memorial Day weekend fun!

For our three day weekend, our friends Lindsey and Johnathan came up to civilization Greensboro to hang out and shop!

On Saturday morning before they got here, Daddy and I attacked the jungle behind the house.  We cut down trees, tore out vines, and hauled off tons of debris.  We are gradually unearthing some grape vines and blackberry canes!  I'm super excited about what our yard might yield this year, and even more excited about how it will look in the future.  I haven't taken any pictures yet, but I'll get them up soon!

Once the Beams arrived, we immediately bundled Jazzi and Macy into their crates and headed out for the afternoon.  We grabbed a bite to eat at Chick-fil-A (civilization has Chick-fil-a!), then visited Ed McKay's (civilization has used books) to kick off our shopping spree!  I found Season 4 of NCIS for $20!!  I also bought some books, of course.  :)

Then we stopped by Fifth Season Gardening for Matt so he could pick up some supplies.  After that, it was off to YumYum's for ice cream (civilization has ice cream!).  Mmm...Cokes in glass bottles make me smile.

After driving all around the world to show Lindsey and Johnathan the beautiful campus of my future school, we headed for the Target shopping center on New Garden, we Lindsey and I shopped for shoes and clothes.  I got some Mimi shoes: my grandmother loved sparkly metallic shoes, so I try to find a pair of sparkly sandals every summer in her honor.  :)  We also acquired Season 1 of the BBC's Being Human for $13...score!

Then we took them to the Moose Cafe ("D'ya see the moose?") for all-you-can-eat BBQ!  Even though they were out of ribs, it was more than worth the $10.  Everything I've had there has been delicious, although my favorite things are the meatloaf and the hashbrown casserole.  Yum!

By that point we'd stuffed ourselves so full that we desperately needed to walk around a little more (well, at least that was our excuse), so Lindsey and I walked around Old Navy (I found a cute dress and a patriotic t-shirt for cheap!) while the boys investigated Dick's next door.  Then we reconvened for a quick and fruitless trip through the Target near our house (no DVD's on sale).  Then it was home to crash on the couch, where the boys killed things on X-Box 360 while Lindsey and I played online.

This morning, we lazed around the house (after the dogs finally convinced us to get up), watched the pilot episode of White Collar, and otherwise did nothing.  Then we gathered ourselves and went out, where Lindsey bought me a really cute Vera Bradley wristlet for an early birthday present.

Then we saw Pirates of the Caribbean On Stranger Tides!  It was better than Pirates 3, but not as good as the first two.  I missed Elizabeth and Will.  I wondered who they would get to be pretty in this one since Orlando Bloom was out, but they did well: Sam Claflin is adorable.  :)

This evening, we grilled out, in the time honored Memorial Day tradition.  We had steak, baked potatoes, asparagus, and shrimp.  Later, we roasted marshmallows over the coals and made s'mores (civilization has s'mores!)!

Tomorrow, to end our weekend, Lindsey and I are going back to Old Navy to acquire our Gay Pride t-shirts (civilization has Gay Pride t-shirts) before they get on the road.  :)

A New Beginning!

This has been a difficult spring.  A little over a week after we lost the baby, I found out I would not be returning to my job as a middle school teacher.  I made it out of my principal's office before I lost it, but heartbroken doesn't do justice to what I was feeling.  There are so many wonderful things about my current job.  First and foremost, I love love love my coworkers.  I am honored to have had the privilege to work them (you, if you're reading!).  I also love the community feel of our school, and I love working with middle schoolers.  I love my classroom (my fifth in five years, and by far my favorite!).  I am deeply, deeply connected to our school through family and dear friends, and I am so sad to be leaving all that.

However, as always, God has a plan for me.  He has been teaching me patience and trust this spring, and He has rewarded me with an amazing opportunity.  In the fall, I will be teaching 7th and 8th grade science AND Science Olympiad as a class at Canterbury School!  Google it if you're curious.  I am super-excited!  I can't wait to get started.  :)

The best thing about this spring has been all the love and support I've gotten from friends and family.  My coworkers have been extremely supportive, even taking care of things in my classroom when I needed a minute (or a few days) to recover my wits.  Friends across the country have prayed and hoped with me, and celebrated too!  I love you all so much!  You are such a blessing!

This is a sad story. Be prepared.

On February 27th, Matt and I found out we were pregnant with our first child.  We were filled with anticipation and joy - and the desire to shout our news from the rooftops.  We told our parents within the first week, and as things continued to go well, we started telling a few friends, the kind who are so much a part of our daily lives that they would've guessed our secret anyway.  We made a list of people to call as soon as the magical twelfth week arrived and all was "safe".  I gave up my daily Bojangles tea and completely cut out Cokes.  I felt great!

I called the doctor and made my appointments, and on March 21st we went in for a confirmation ultrasound.  Our precious baby was the size of a smallish blueberry and its little heartbeat looked like a strand of chasing Christmas lights, but it was there!

On Thursday, March 24th, I started spotting.  Of course, my heretofore tranquil pregnancy (all 4 weeks I'd known about it) became fraught with fear in the space of a day.  By Monday morning, I'd talked to the OB nurse once, the on-call nurses twice, explained my (increasing) symptoms about 20 times, and was scheduled for an ultrasound at 2:45.  I arranged for some wonderful coworkers to sit with my third core and off I went.  Matt held my hand tightly as the tech started the ultrasound, and there was our baby, safe and sound.  It had doubled in size in a week, and the heartbeat, a strong 156, actually looked like a heart.  A miracle was happening inside my body.

The doctor who looked over my ultrasound diagnosed me with a subchorionic hemorrhage - a clot or tear between the delicate placenta and the uterine lining.  This is not usually a big deal, is neither predictable not preventable, and usually corrects itself by about halfway through the pregnancy.  The doctor advised me to forgo the trip to New York that Matt had been planning since last summer, so at ten o'clock on Monday night, I stood in the parking lot and waved as the bus pulled out, carrying my husband, my mother-in-law, a few dear friends, and some kids I really love to New York until Friday.  I was sad and tired but feeling fine as I headed to my parents' house for the week.

Tuesday everything changed.  I was out with my mom, who took the day off work to spend with me, when I started having some pretty strong cramps and back pain.  I endured them for awhile because moving around helped and the spotting hadn't changed.  However, when we got back to my parents' house, the cramps got worse and the bleeding picked up - a lot.  I called the nurse again (dial 6 if you ever need the after-hours service at my doctor's office...).  She advised rest and fluids and an office visit on Wednesday.  The cramping increased in intensity until I couldn't tolerate it any longer.  I called back.  This time, the doctor said to take a Tylenol PM and sleep.  Fortunately, the cramps abated soon after that and I was able to eat dinner and sleep without the Tylenol.  (I hate taking medicine.)

On Wednesday, Mom stayed home again.  I called the doctor and scheduled another ultrasound for 3:30.  I texted Matt to let him know and tried so hard to stay positive.  When 3:30 rolled around, Mom and I found ourselves in the waiting room again - my fourth visit in nine days.  As soon as the tech started the ultrasound, I knew we'd lost the baby.  On Monday, my uterus showed up as a black pocket around an alien blob with a heartbeat - our baby.  On Wednesday, I couldn't even make out my uterus until she labeled it.  The baby was just gone.  I cried throughout the ultrasound and for awhile after.  The techs and nurses were wonderful, bringing me tissues and hugs.  I called Matt, who of course was on a bus full of students and couldn't really talk.  Telling him we'd lost the baby was so hard.

The rest of the day has been a busy blur.  I'm so sad.  As I write tonight, four ultrasound pictures lay on the nightstand, proof that Matt and I can create a life.  He told me the other day that he knows God has a plan for us, and he knows that plan involves children.  One day, in His perfect timing, we will be blessed with a baby.  Or two, or three.  (Although not all at once...)

I have been thinking all evening about whether or not to write this, and what to say if I did write it.  I don't want to come across as all "Oh, poor us, we had a miscarriage."  I'm not looking for pity or special treatment (although I would love your prayers for, as a friend said recently, "sticky babies" in the future).

I think that miscarriage is a taboo topic in our society.  It is painful and uncomfortable to talk about, especially if you are young and thinking about having children yourself.  No one knows what to say.

I don't want to say nothing.  I had a miscarriage.  It was painful and scary and heartbreaking.  Nothing I did caused it, and there was nothing I could have done to prevent it.  I have survived.  I will never forget our first baby, and I will welcome future healthy babies with even more joy because of this experience.

I joined the ranks of parents today who mourn an unborn child.  This is a group no one wants to join, but many parents will.  I am the first of my close friends to start trying to get pregnant, so I doubt any of them have experienced this, and I hope none of them ever do.

It's OK if you don't know what to say.  It's OK if you have questions.  Some people might find it too painful to answer questions, but I don't mind.  I wish I had known in advance what to expect.  It's easy to find information about being pregnant, but it's not as easy to find information about miscarrying.

I don't want to be silent because it's uncomfortable to speak.  I want my friends and family to know that if they find themselves in this position, I am here.  They don't have to be silent either.

So, farewell, Baby.  May God hold you in the palm of His hand until I get there to meet you one day.  Know that you are loved and cherished and missed already.